Category: Essays

The many philosophies of minimalism.

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Motivation for Minimalism: Connection

Recently I was inspired to ask myself a very important question. A question I should have asked myself a long long time ago. A question that should be the basis from which everyone designs their life. The question is:

 

“What do I want to get out of life?”

 

Right off, the knee jerk reaction is to answer the question with details of the individual things I desire. This would be a mistake because I believe the question is much broader than that. It demands that we reach right down into our soul to determine what it is in life that fills us up, gives us purpose. It must be simple. It must be one sentence or less.

It took me a day or so, but I finally found the definitive answer. It is not an easy question, it requires some thought. And if one is able to answer the question immediately, it’s usually because they are answering according to their immediate desire at that time. Either that, or they have been asked the question before. The reason why I am sharing this in a post is because my answer to the question is one that I believe to be true for all individuals who see the beauty in living a minimalist life.

 

The answer is: Connection

(one word. How’s that for simple?)

 

I want to be connected to people. All people. I want to have a huge variety of many different type of connections. A romantic connection, friend connections, family connections, fan connections, community connections, and a connection with God/nature. Truth is, I have always known the answer to this question; years before I even asked it. Creating a strong positive connection is the very reason why I have this website in the first place. I have a desire to make a difference in peoples lives, and I desire letting them make a difference in mine.

Is not connection the real fruit that life has to offer? I believe that it is only through minimalism that one can free themselves to have the time, energy, and clarity to establish strong positive connections of all the types mentioned above.

Don’t we all deep down inside really just want to be connected to each other?

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Minimalism and Humanity

As minimalists we focus on people, events, and ideas instead of things. Now I can’t speak for all minimalists, but over time this has made me somewhat of a humanist. This does not mean that I do not believe in a higher power (God if you will), because I do. But it does mean that I hold humanity to a higher standard than any other living creature that walks this planet. I hold us up to an almost divine light.

Humans are complex. We have a plethora of emotions. We have passions, desires, fears, and insecurities. We have a drive to grow, but a fear of change. And these are just the things we have in common.

We also have many wonderful colorful differences. We come in many different colors, shapes, sizes, languages, cultures, traditions, even ways of thinking.

We all have so much in common, and we are also so much different from each other. But All these things are beautiful. And we can all learn so much from each other.  Everybody has something to teach, a story to tell. It is vexing to me how quick so may of us are to let any new material possession in our lives, but are just as quick to shun people away from taking a mere moment of our time. We should be more scrutinizing about the things we let into our lives, and less scrutinizing about the people we let into our lives. In fact, the only people we should be making an effort to keep away from us are the toxic people (I have spoken about them in previous posts).

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying the we are supposed to begin a relationship with everyone we meet (that’s just ridiculous). But I am saying that we should be leaving ourselves open to the possibility of it. It all starts with a few kind words in passing, then there is attentiveness/listening.

With all this being said, I don’t understand how people can get so hung up on their disapproval of only one small aspect of a human being that, for them, determines their entire view of that person.

Example: Homosexuality. If someone disproves of homosexuality, that’s OK. If someone judges an others entire character poorly purely based on this one aspect, NOT OK.  A persons sexuality is only one aspect of their being among uncountable others, and an insignificant one at that. Furthermore, in this case, A PRIVATE ASPECT. It’s nobody’s business anyway.

We don’t throw someones entire character out just because of one aspect we don’t approve of. That’s insane. And the ones who lose the most is us.

We humans are comfortable with our frequent use of simply defined labels so that way we can divide ourselves into simple groups. Labels like: Conservative, Liberal, gay, strait, black, white, Latino. First of all, by now aren’t there so many grey areas in between all these labels, that the labels themselves have become obsolete …….. really? Second, no matter what label we place on a person, we are pigeonholing them into a single idea. When we do that we no longer look at them as a person, but a number, a statistic. A person can not be described with a simple label; a person is a human being with wants, needs, desires, pain, interests, and lots of love to give.

Example (continued from above): Gary is not “a Gay.” Gary is gay, sure, But there are so many more wonderful things about Gary that make him a unique and wonderful person. Gary is a unique human being. Why are we focusing on only one aspect of his character (and an insignificant one at that)?

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Minimize our scope of control

“Those who put so much energy into controlling everything around them, end up losing control of themselves.”

This has become a philosophy I have developed. Or to put it more positively:

“One must learn to focus on controlling ones own thoughts, actions, reactions, and learn to accept that they cannot control anything outside of them-self if they wish to find any happiness in this life.”

As I grow older I am seeing more and more how true this is, based on the behavior I have seen in myself and other people. I see the truth of it all the time, but never more so than in these two extreme yet common cases:

  1. The control freak. The OCD Warrior. These are the people that spend lots of time and energy organizing and planning to make sure everything they are involved in goes according to a plan; usually their plan. But despite all the effort and energy, the end result never quite goes perfectly to their plan. Not even good enough to equal the reward expected considering all the time and effort put into planning (and that is a generous assessment. Truthfully much of the time it blows up in their face). These people often seem down, upset, or plain miserable because things did not go to plan. They lash out, and try to gain control by force. These people are generally miserable. They may often appear happy on the outside, at social gatherings; but once the party’s over it’s back to facing the deep dark void that goes right through the center of them.
  2. The adventurer. The zen master. The people who do not spend extensive time planing, if they even plan at all. The spontaneous decision makers. The people who set out on a journey with merely a direction they had in mind, and are willing to accept any obstacles that befall them. These people trust their instincts to guide them. They leave their minds open constantly to new possibilities. They are more concerned with learning about the world as the world reveals itself to them in their travels, than they are in shaping the world to be what they want it to be. These people are cool, calm, and collect. They do not get offended easily and are always willing to share their wisdom. These people take nothing for granted and are joyous with all that life has given them.

I believe most of us know people that fit the two descriptions above, as well as many variations in between.

Minimalism, true Minimalism is about narrowing ones scope of control to be more like person 2 than person 1. By living smaller, with fewer possessions, fewer obligations, fewer commitments, one has more time and energy to focus on making them-self  a better …..self. A person focusing on becoming a better version of them-self is on a more assured path to happiness, than one who is controlling the situations and things around them. If one chooses the path of control, they will lose them-self in the process (If they ever knew them-self in the first place).

People that try so hard to control everything around them, do so only because their identity is weak. Their attempts to control everything offer them some validation when things go according to plan. Those with strong identities on the other hand prefer to spend more time on self discovery; as they already know that is the key to happiness. They have a strong enough sense of self that they feel no drive to control everything around them. They do not require the validation of being surrounded by a home, house, area, arena, or life that is custom tailored to their specifications.