Purge out the Toxic people in your life. They drag you down.

Love-1Much of what I am going to write right now would seem like common sense, but it is not. If it was common then it would not apply to each of us so often.

For the sake of being accepted or belonging, we allow the people closest to us to hurt us in so many ways. Even in ways we do not realize from day-to-day because we accept their behavior toward us because “that’s just how they are,” or “they mean no harm by it”. We make excuses for them. But their behavior or attitude is harmful and therefore completely unacceptable. It’s harmful to themselves as well as others. These people are what I like to call “TOXIC”. Here are some tell-tale signs of TOXIC people:

– Negativity: A lot of use of the phrases “It won’t work”, “I can’t”, “you can’t”, ”Whatever”.

– Full of excuses: “I don’t have the time”, “It’s just not worth it”.

– Irresponsible/destructive lifestyle: Excessive profanity, Laziness, violence, substance abuse, gluttony.

One thing we often do not realize is that even as adults, the people we surround ourselves with have a tremendous impact on our lives. They impact our attitude, self-image, motivation. Just because we are adults does not mean that we are not influence-able; we are just as influence-able as the children we raise. TOXIC people will drag you down and turn you into them. That being the case, surround yourself with positive uplifting people. People that support you and motivate you in your endeavors. Goal oriented people.

So raises the question: How do I purge myself of this toxicity from toxic people in my life? Well if these people are close to you and you would rather not lose them, then you gotta have the talk. You’ve got to sit them down, and tell them that the two of you are going to have to redefine the nature of your relationship. Be forward. Tell them exactly what you expect from them in the relationship. Make the conversation two-sided. Ask them what they expect from you. Be reasonable. Hopefully through conversation and mutual understanding you can reach an agreement. If not, then you make it clear that you wish to bow out of the relationship gracefully ……. and then do just that.

This might hurt, but it will save you a whole bunch more pain not far down the road. If they put up a fight then you can be actually more confident that it is the right decision to leave the relationship immediately. Likelihood is that if they are so toxic, then a fight is what you will get. This makes it easy actually. The conversation is much shorter, and you get a very real sense of closure