Children are in a constant state of flux. They are always changing, both physically and mentally. Without even intending to be. This is because the world is still new to them and their curiosity compels them to explore, discover, and acquire more knowledge. They are also in a school (hopefully) that is a constant resource with a wealth of experiences and knowledge. THIS is why a child’s behavior, interests, vocabulary, and knowledge change/grow noticeably from one year to the next. Children are not doing this purposefully course; it’s just a child’s natural drive to be always trying new things. They are also in an environment where change is being imposed upon them (school).

Into adulthood ………. not so much. For too many of us, our drive is diminished, curiosity gone, and the environment we are in is not exactly inspirational. Our pattern of life has become steady. Every day is a copy of the previous one. Life is set to “rinse and repeat.” How can we expect to have any growth if we are stuck in this pattern? This stagnancy of life leads to boredom, and potentially depression.

Because of this, as adults we should be purposefully seeking change. We must purposefully seek challenge. Then, only then, will we have any growth as people. When life becomes fixed into a holding pattern, the question we should be asking ourselves is “What’s the next challenge, the next change?” Because without change, without growth, we are just dead weight; obsolete. And being in the mundane pattern for long will dull our senses, and make us sloooooow; both mentally and physically.

 

Simply having goals is not good enough. Our goals must force us to do things we have never done before.

Example: Setting a goal to build a new wing to the house may seem like a growth opportunity, but if building on the home was last years goal (and the task was completed), then we’re not exactly venturing on to new territory are we?

Set goals that force us to explore potential new talents, not ones that simply force us to use already well established talents.

These goals don’t have to be big. They can be tiny enough to be not even worth mentioning, but they do have to force us to step outside our comfort zone. Personal growth only happens when we do things that take us outside our comfort zone. We can drastically improve our lives, escape the “rinse and repeat” cycle, just by setting mini-tasks, or mini-goals. A new one to accomplish every week. Just something to shake up our normal pattern of life. Something as simple as “I will try roller skating for the first time this weekend.”

Sooo what’s the next challenge, the next change?

All year long I go on and on about what excess clutter we have in our lives that we can do without. Well it is just as important that we schedule ourselves a mandatory inventory check to make sure we DO have all the necessities required to have a happy and safe home, car, and person (items you always carry on you). What better time to do this than at the beginning of the year in the winter season (when there is not much else to do). Below I have created a checklist of items we should all have:

 

HOME:

• Fire Extinguisher – Make sure the gauge reads that it is filled. It should be in an easily reachable place in the home, close to where is would most likely be used (Kitchen), but not VERY close to where it would most likely be used.
• Smoke detector/s – Placed in the high traffic areas of the home (the intersections), and the Kitchen. Test them to make sure they still function well. Replace the batteries if needed.
• Carbon Monoxide detector – Same instruction as a smoke detector.
• First Aid Kit
• Cold and Sickness medication (everything from Airborne to Sudafed)
• Canned goods
• Bottled water
• Spare car key

CAR:

• Insurance Card
• Registration
• Conviction Stub
• Jumper Cables
• Jack
• Spare Tire (donut)
• First Aid Kit
• Towel
• Knife
• Duck Tape
• Rope
• Phone Charger

Personal Effects:

• License
• Insurance Card/s
• Credit/Debit Card
• Spare Cash
• Cell Phone

Now, it is possible that one persons list will be slightly different than the list I have made above (It’s all based on ones environment), but the majority of the things on the list should still apply.

Mental/emotional baggage (clutter for the mind) comes in many forms. One giant piece of mental clutter many of us hold on to, is our past. So many of us have people or events in our past that had such a profound effect on us, that we can’t let them go. We can’t move past them. We continue with our lives unable to grow fully mentally because we are tethered to people and moments that hold us back. But what is it that keeps us so tethered to these moments?

 

Regret

We are holding on to moments when we wish we had made a different decision. While it is perfectly healthy to hold on to a little bit of regret, as it a valuable tool to learn from, dwelling on these moments disables us from using the lesson learned in our future decisions. Don’t use regret as a means to punish ourselves, but instead as a lesson for moving on and making better decisions in the future.

Guilt

We wronged someone. Aside from being a motivation for making amends, this is also useless. Much like regret, it’s only worth  having guilt in small doses as it serves to shape our character. Unlike regret however, guilt doesn’t function as tool for future decisions.

 

For both guilt and regret I say this:

The past is the past, and we can’t change it. Punishing ourselves doesn’t help anyone. Feeling bad about the things we did so far back in our history is pointless, as we aren’t even the same people anymore.

I believe that many of us feel as if we owe a big debt to our history, and we can’t shed enough tears or feel enough pain to pay it. That we need to honor the past by continuing to live in it. Unfortunately this is useless, unproductive.

 

I prefer to look at it this way:

There is no debt. And if there IS a debt, the changes to our character (growth) that have resulted from these people and experiences in our past is payment enough. We are not honoring our past by living in it. We are in fact, dis-honoring our past by not moving on from it. We, in essence, do our history a greater service by letting go of it and embracing our future with what we have learned so far.