Life is as complex, or as simple as we make it

Too often we forget that we have choices in this life. That our only responsibility is to ourselves, and to the commitments we’ve made so far.

There are pressures out there; pressures all around us. Pressure from our television, the radio, all our media channels, our parents, siblings, peers, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, and even total strangers.

 

 

Pressures about:

  • Where to live
  • How to live
  • What to do for a living
  • What kind of car to drive
  • What to wear
  • How to style our hair
  • Marriage
  • Procreating
  • Everything

Collectively they would have us believe that fitting a certain profile is necessary for existence. Well lets face it, we do have to adapt to the world in which we live. So conforming to much of this pressure is necessary for survival. BUT ……… once the basic needs of survival are met (food, water, shelter), the rest of our life is completely up to us.

But here’s the thing: The basic needs of survival are cheap. Real cheap. Meals, and a roof over our head can be simple, and do not require a complex skill set. Anyone with a good work ethic, two hands, and two legs can get a job, sleep in a modest residence, have three square healthy meals a day, and transportation.

Beyond that, we have the option to custom tailor our lives according to our desires. The first step is knowing what those desires are. The second step is putting together a plan toward getting there. The third is implementation of that plan (DO IT). Baby steps, always baby steps. With small celebrations in between each step.

Of all these steps, the hardest is the first step. Knowing what we want is difficult. WHY? BECAUSE OF ALL THE PRESSURES I MENTIONED ABOVE. We spend our entire lives with everyone telling us what to be, what to do, how to live. So much in fact, that so many of us unknowingly acquiesce to being told what we want, what we desire. These people often proceed to steps two and three, and ultimately to the goal and end up living miserable “successful” lives, never understanding why they are so miserable.

 

It is my belief that these people (and many others) do not realize the wide breath of options they have in this life. They do not realize that they have no obligation, no debt to anyone but themselves and their commitments.

Beyond survival, all else is optional. The world is our playground, and there are so many options.

 

Another thing that the pressures of society do to us, is numb us from noticing and enjoying the simple pleasures life has to offer. We’ve been so desensitized and distracted with information overload in the form of loud music, flashy games, sleek automobiles, poison fake food, and altogether just flashy images and products. We often miss the real gifts this life has to offer: A sunrise, a sunset, the warm touch of a lover, a pleasant conversation with a friend, the warm sunshine on our face, a cool breeze on our skin on a hot summer day, the feel of grass under our feet, the smells of nature, the sound of waves crashing on the shore, I can go on forever.

These are the simple but real pleasures this life has to offer. Simple, but far greater than anything that can be bought in a store, or seen on a screen. These are the pleasures enjoyed by those who choose a simple life. All these society pressures, these images, distractions, these complications, these illusions really, have no real purpose in the grand scheme of things. They serve only to divert us from the important things in life.

A fine line between passion and image

……. This one is more difficult to explain, but I have found that too many people mistake trying to keep an Image, even a reputation, for having a passion, a purpose.

The difference is that the need to keep an image, a look, a reputation is purely extrinsic. It depends only on how others see us. There is nothing inherently wrong with that. However too often do I see people put so much time and money into an image, that it decreases the overall quality of their life. The truth is, when this happens it is because the need to project that image stems from insecurity. These people need that constant validation from their peers to fill that hole of insecurity in order for them to feel good about themselves. I see it all the time.

Passion, on the other hand, is purely intrinsic. To clarify, our reason for doing what we do stems from an internal desire to do it. True, doing it may be fueled by how what we do effects other peoples lives, but that is not the same thing as the validation insecurity requires.

“But Anthony, why would anyone mistake passion for image? I’ve never seen this before.”

Oh sure we have. We just probably didn’t know it when we saw it.

 

Example:

Mike buys for himself a nice beautiful Corvette. He washes and waxes it weekly. Takes it to car shows. Cruises Main St extra slow with the top down so everybody can see him. Hangs out at local events to pick up the chicks with it.

Kevin buys for himself a shell of a Honda. He spends lots of time and money on parts and reconstruction for his vehicle (as much as Mike did for his Corvette). He spends the majority of that time underneath the car while it is jacked up, or under the hood. Eventually when the construction is complete, he competes in races with the Honda.

One of these men is driven by passion, the other by image. Yet both of them claim to be “Passionate about their car.”

Need more? How about a point by point comparison:

  • Kevin enjoys hearing the growl of the engine.
  • Mike enjoys hearing the compliments and fascination from people about his car.
  • Kevin loves the adrenaline rush he gets from racing on the track.
  • Mike doesn’t go very fast, as he is only riding on the same roads commuters do, and therefore has to follow the same traffic laws.
  • Kevin gets excited when he has the opportunity to do an upgrade on a part and put in some “under the hood” time.
  • Mike can’t tell you how anything under the hood works.
  • Kevin is always looking for new ways to improve his Hondas performance.
  • Mike wants to do as little as possible to keep the Vette running well.

By now my point should be clear.

 

In the end, those that are driven to project a certain image are far more interested in earning the approval of others, than in the very thing they claim to be “passionate” about. The object is just a means to feed some ego, or some insecurity. These people are easy to spot because their “passion” is purely cosmetic in nature; it’s all for looks, for fashion. Passion is not about image, but personal fulfillment, a sense of purpose. Passion involves us doing something that makes us feel good, not simply having something we are proud of (the uselessness of pride is another topic for another post).

People who are truly passionate about something do not require approval, envy, or admiration. They do however require some support, some encouragement (as do we all).

The things in our lives that take time/money/space which are image-enhancers disguised as passions, are just another type of clutter. We’d be much happier getting rid of them, and the ego/insecurity that brought them on in the first place.

Renew the things we own

In living a minimalist life of “function over fashion”, I believe it also follows that we go by the ages old philosophy: “If it is not broken ……don’t fix it.”

Over the course of time, the things we own get worn, tarnished, frayed, dirty, or faded (depending on exactly what we are talking about). Or in general, they just get old. Often our “knee jerk” reaction is to replace these things; to discard them and buy a new one. Even when said thing (lets call it a dinglehopper) is still fully functional, we still get the urge to replace it with a shiny and new dinglehopper.

Part of the minimalist philosophy is to fight through these consumerist urges and see the true value of things. We need to appreciate the things we already own for their function, and not simply discard them because we have had them a long time and they’re faded; they no longer have that “new dinglehopper” look. First of all, the fact that the dinglehopper has functioned this long says a lot about it’s quality. There is no guarantee that the next dinglehopper will be as good. Second, In the end we’d be wasting our money buying a new one for flare …. for fashion, that’s all.

We should look at replacing the things we own (the things we have deemed valuable enough to keep in the first place) as a last resort.

In the event that the dinglehopper is no longer fully functional, this is a different story almost entirely. But even THEN, there may be other possibilities than replacing it that are more reasonable.

Consider renewing the dinglehopper. Clean it up, fix it, and/or replace some of it’s parts to make it functional again. Doing so will often be much cheaper, and will renew our appreciation for the things we own. We might be surprised at how satisfying it is to breathe new life into our valued possessions.

 

Example:

I recently noticed that my BBQ grill had some wear an tare on the grilling grate; it was really rusting and warping a little.

My initial reaction was: “Ok, it’s time for a new grill.” But then my practical efficient minimalist mind kicked in. It was at this moment I remembered how many years of good service this grill gave us. How many meals, how many gatherings we had around this barbecue grill. I then examined the grill entirely and noticed that the entire grill with the exception of the grate was still in excellent working order. Even the ignition button was still working (and it was the original one). Sure the grill was a bit dirty and faded, but all that is irrelevant. It was more than functional.

So I removed the grate on the grill and tossed it, disassembled the rest of the grill and gave it a good cleaning. A steel wool, water, and dish soap, and less than one hour later, I had restored much of the luster that the grill used to have. I ordered a new grate for the grill which was a mere fraction of the price of ordering a whole new grill. The result is that now I get to keep a grill that has served us so well for over 10 years, and renew it to full function (now that it has a grate that is not toxic with rust). And I do this at a significantly lower price and time commitment than getting a new barbecue grill.

 

This is what we call a “minimalist win.”