The less we have, the more we appreciate what we DO have.

It has been my observation, that for the most part, an adults instinctual behavior is no different than that of a child. A child’s is just a bit more amplified because they don’t have the societal trappings of etiquette.

This past weekend I had the unfortunate task of having to punish my daughter for being disrespectful to my wife and myself. The consequence for her disrespect was to give away a whole bunch of her toys. Unfortunately this punishment was not severe enough, as she pretty much said “OK” and then proceeded to assist us in the toy discarding process (I kid you not).

As much as our plan to inflict punishment on her backfired initially ……. it did give us room to minimize her hoard of toys. “Since she clearly doesn’t mind ….. let’s see how far we can go” was the mindset. So we went through her room and started taking out everything to decide what we should keep, and what we should give away. We figured we could kill two birds with one stone by minimizing her hoard in hopes that we will eventually discard enough that it will actually start to be a real consequence to her. My daughter was awfully cavalier about the fact that we cut her toy hoard in half. ……So we kept going. Eventually she started to feel it, pretty bad, and at that moment she learned a valuable lesson. She learned to respect Mommy and Daddy, because we don’t mess around.

In our searches we found unopened toys from LAST Christmas, toys she hadn’t touched in months, toys she forgot she had, and other toys she just plain doesn’t like anymore. And in this purge my wife and I learned a valuable lesson: The more you have, the less you value it.

As for the unopened toys, obviously the children “Toys for Tots” would get more value from the toys than my daughter does.

Days after the purge was finished (long after her punishment and sorrow had passed), we found our daughter playing joyfully with the toys she still had. ALL of the toys she still had. She expressed value in the things that remain; as if they were new. Huh. So it would seem also that: The less we have, the more we appreciate what we DO have.

Does my daughters behavior not reflect the behavior of humanity in general? I think so.

Consider this ….. Maybe having an abundance of stuff, is in a way overwhelming enough to cloud us from enjoying the things we truly enjoy.

Yet another example of “less is more.”

PS: This Christmas, Santa Clause is being ultra conservative.

Mental Trappings of Adulthood

From what I have found in my observations, so many adults, parents especially, have chosen to limit themselves mentally to conform to a standard that they believe is expected of them in order to be an adult. I do believe it is our responsibility for our safety, and our children’s safety and health, to follow a code of conduct. However beyond health and safety, all the standards created to constitute “adulting” are just strait ridiculous. It’s just mental clutter limiting ourselves, limiting our freedom, and especially our individuality.

We spend our entire childhood with our parents keeping our “hand out of the cookie jar”, only so we can grow up and STILL not take from the cookie jar because now were are held to a standard; we have to be an example.

This is no way to live. TAKE THE DAMN COOKIE!

News Flash: You are an adult now. You can do whatever the hell you want to do. Do you want that cookie? TAKE IT. Why do you care what anyone else thinks?! The perk of being an adult is that it no longer matters what anyone else thinks.

 

Take that cookie.

 

Take the day off from work and have crazy uninhibited sex in the middle of the day with your partner.

 

Drop all the ridiculous obligations that are expected of you, that add no value to your life whatsoever.

 

Take a spontaneous road trip for a weekend with no destination in mind.

 

None of this is taboo. It is your right as an adult. There are those who will judge you, but you know what, screw em. Those people are miserable anyway, and are likely envious of you.

My Philosophy on Relationship Problem Resolution

These are just a few quotes I live by, regarding keeping/maintaining good relationships:

Don’t play the “blame game”; nobody wins.

Just because you did not cause the problem, doesn’t alleviate you from any responsibility to solve the problem. All parties are still responsible.

Rather than focusing on what we can do to change our partner, focus instead on how we can change ourselves to bring out the best in our partner.

Don’t put the burden of “making you happy” on your partner. Make yourself happy!