Category: Essays

What is a normal life?

What were you expecting for your life?

Why did you have these expectations?

Were you told that this is what you should strive for?

Is this what you wanted?

What DO you want?

Do you even know what you want?

Deciding the kind of life we want is not a strait forward thing. In fact, it’s a moving target as life goes on. Anyone who says otherwise is just satisfying an expectation that was placed upon them.

We humans in our core, are very complex. Stagnancy is not our true nature. For this reason, when deciding what we wish to do in/with our life it is best we have NO BASIS FOR COMPARISON. Or at least, no SINGLE basis for comparison. Everybody’s desires are vastly different. Our lives should be a Frankenstein of bits and pieces of elements we are exposed to and choose during the course of our life.

So if we ever find ourselves asking the question (to ourselves), “When do I get to lead a normal life?” or “What do I have to do to live a normal life?”, Let me give this small piece of advice: Don’t ask those questions. These are loaded questions.

There IS no “normal” life. There’s just life.

It’s a question that is based in ridiculous societal expectations that certainly do not lead to happiness.

The only questions we should be asking ourselves is: “What am I passionate about?” and “What is my plan for pursuing that passion?”, “What are my goals?”………. That’s it.

The motivation to move forward needs to be intrinsic, very personal.

Among the many wonderful gifts that children have to offer us, they offer us what I call “A return to basics” approach to life. In many ways, children are already natural minimalists. Because when it comes right down to it, living minimal is our natural state; it is the life of excess, the “American Dream” that is a fabrication.

Children react according to their biochemical desires because they have no other guiding protocol from which to follow. Anything else must be taught to them. Because of this, they are more “in tuned” to their biological needs than we adults are.

Examples:

• When they are hungry, they eat. Instinctually they don’t recognize pre-determined meal times. This is because for health purposes they are completely unnecessary.
• When they are tired, they sleep. In the middle of the day even. The time of day is irrelevant. When you’re tired, you’re tired.
• When they are hyper, its because the body needs activity: exercise, challenge, or constant repetitive movement. If a child is not tired at night, it is usually because this need during the day was not satisfied, and the body is still demanding it.

Notice ….. children have no concept of ownership. They want to touch everything, even if it is not theirs. This is because they instinctively want to experience, want to learn. To them ownership is just a concept keeping them from learning and doing more. Once they learn the basic concept of ownership, only THEN do they desire to have (own) an abundance of toys. Only because they have learned that in order to use these toys whenever they want, ownership is necessary; ownership is necessary ONLY as a means for use of an item.

Once they are done with said item, that’s it. Out of sight, out of mind.

Children LOVE, with all of their heart. This love knows no limits by sex, gender, culture, or ethnicity. They just love freely naturally. Anyone who says differently aught to examine what they have exposed their children to thus far.

Children are truthful by nature (lying is learned, and eventual unfortunately). They tell you if you are fat, skinny, tall, old, wrinkly. They often see and acknowledge simple truths in everyday circumstance that we adults are too busy with our ego, or fictitious concepts to acknowledge.

Children have inner joy. A joy that seems to come from nowhere. They choose to be happy all the time. True, they don’t have the stresses that adults have, but they DO have stresses of their own. A child knows that these stresses can’t be controlled and don’t pertain to this moment, so there is no reason why in this moment we cannot be happy.

So, with that being said, lets emulate our children. Let their joy and enthusiasm infect us. Let their truthfulness break down our illusions so we can acknowledge and tackle problems we have been ignoring. Love everyone, unconditionally.