Category: Journal Entries

As I lie comfortably in my bed at night staring out the window of my condo at a lamp post on the sidewalk of my building, I think about how within just a few yards of me there are hundreds of people living out their diverse lives who have their own joys and problems. I think about how even though we are all so close in proximity to each other, we are so completely oblivious to each other. We are so cooped up in our own lives that we don’t divert our attention to each other long enough to share just a moment of our time with each other. It’s a shame too. Because within just the confines of my condo complex, it is likely we would be able to find family within each other, if only someone would stop to say “Hi, how are you doing” during their walk from the front door to their car. People don’t take the time to get to know their neighbors anymore. People are too focused on trivialities, and too much in a hurry to be bothered. I think about all the potential people around me less than a quarter mile away, living out their lives in their condo.

 

A couple making love.

A child crying themselves to sleep because they have an abusive parent.

A teenage boy playing video games online in his room.

A teenage girl crying over a boy that dumped her.

A gay couple rejoicing with some Champaign, as they just began their own startup business together.

A three-time divorced woman wondering why she can’t make a relationship work.

An old man crying because he lost his wife to cancer a week ago.

A couple feeling joyous because they just learned that they are pregnant.

A couple embracing each other tight, in tears because they just learned that they can’t have children.

A new high school graduate unable to sleep, because tomorrow she goes off to college.

A single father breaking down in tears because he just can’t reach his wayward son.

A man staring at another strange sleeping woman in his bed with regret, because he just can’t seem to shake his wicked ways.

A lonely middle aged man, who has all but given up dating.

A woman with a black eye, who would rather be with an abusive man, then be alone.

A small family of four having a late night, game night.

A man fresh out of prison, trying to get a fresh start, filling out job applications.

 

These people should know each other. They can help each other. But we are so busy with our own small lives that we are completely detached from the people, the world around us. I can’t begin to tell you how many of the world’s problems today would be solved (or never have existed in the first place) if we were more connected with the people around us and less connected to the things in our lives; less connected with the trivial details.

People are important, not wealth, not status, and certainly not things. Proceed with that mantra, and we will find happiness in droves.

Too often do I see people complaining, whining over small inconveniences. They get so angry over things which are not even worthy of so much mental energy. A friend of mine once spoke a term that so wonderfully applies to how one should conduct themselves in these situations. It goes like this: People who overreact to inconveniences are not applying the “appropriate level of concern.” Admittedly, I myself find myself in situations where I feel a bit of anxiety, even rage sometimes when encountering an unexpected obstacle in the flow of my day; more specifically when there is something slowing me down (it’s the NY in me).

The problem with this anxiety, this rage, is that it does more harm than good. For starters, the feeling is not going to improve the situation …….. at all. It’s counterproductive toward getting through whatever obstacle we have encountered. In fact, the very emotion itself clouds our mind from finding any potential realistic solutions. Second, that negative energy can make the obstacle worse. That’s right. All that negative energy spills over onto the people closest to us. Even if we are not outwardly expressing our feelings. It’s written all over our faces and body language, and everyone is picking up on it; even if they don’t realize they are. This in turn, effects their attitude toward us. Third (and most important), most of the time, the anger or anxiety we feel is more of a drain on our day/life than the obstacle itself. Here are some examples of times when many of us get our anxiety levels up over small inconveniences:

1. Traffic jam on the highway.
2. In a long checkout line at the grocery store (traffic of a different variety).
3. Jerks on the road.
4. Just missed the deadline for something and they didn’t give it to you anyway.
5. Just MADE the deadline for something and they didn’t give it to you (they are on a different clock).
6. Car gets a flat.
7. Check engine light comes on.
8. Accidental spills.
9. Any alteration in plans we did not account for.

Unless these time stalling inconveniences (traffic jam, grocery store) are keeping us from real time sensitive events (like open heart surgery), there is no rush.

Most of the situations mentioned above are situations we can’t control. So right off the bat, there really is no logical reason to get overly angry. Anger can only be useful when it motivates us to take action toward overcoming an obstacle; but there is nothing we can do in a traffic jam.

So lets do what we gotta do to calm ourselves, and not go crazy (internally or externally) over minor inconveniences, minor distractions. Count to ten, meditate, breathing exercises, soothing music, Yoga, or whatever. Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill situation, accept the obstacle for what it is, and proceed calmly. We will get through this feeling much better.

Every now and again someone will ask me why I do what I do. They will ask:

“Why did you write your book?

“Why do you have this blog?”

“Why do you preach about minimalism?”

“Why do you ride bicycle?”

The answer is the same for all these questions.

“Because I am compelled to.”

And every time I give that answer I get the same look, the look of confusion/misunderstanding/disdain. Of course I do. Because the people who understand that answer are the same people who would never have to ask that question. Those people share my feeling of passion. You see, there are two kinds of people in this world: People that follow their passion, and people who do what their told.

The moment a person is born they are told what they should be, how they should act, and what they should work for. We are told by our parents, teachers, friends, elders, the television, the radio, and all media. And since it’s all we know we follow this blindly. That’s just the way it is. But there are those few of us who are driven in a direction different than they would have us go. We are not driven by money, fame, comfort, or image, but we are driven nonetheless. We are simply compelled. This compulsion can’t be explained logically.

Some of us can take our passion to the point where it becomes very prosperous, but most of us can’t or don’t. That is irrelevant however because all of us are happy in what we do. Those who have no passion don’t understand, and many often take some amount of comfort in ridiculing those with passion, especially toward those who have not acquired wealth as a result of their passion. Our passion fills us, gives us purpose. Gives us joy and hope in a world chaotic and corrupt. That is why when I get that look of disdain, I do not hurt or cower. I take pity on them. They will never have purpose other than the same old boring one pre-designed for them. Just another link in the chain, part of the system. A slave. And they will never know our joy.

Here are two very passionate people who had a very unorthodox crafts which are excellent examples of what I am talking about:

Tony Hawk (very prosperous)

Pablo Picasso (lived in poverty)

 

Both left their mark on the world.