Embrace our differences

EmbraceDifference-300x225 I can write plenty about why we should embrace our racial, religious, and probably even sexual orientation differences. But I am sure it is not anything most of us haven’t heard before. So instead I will write about how rich and wonderful the differences in the sexes are, as I have never heard many people broach this subject before, and it’s a topic which I have a lot of affection for.

 

I remember as a boy hearing my mom saying “Ahhhh the differences” usually when she saw men doing “men things” and when she saw women doing “girly things” (as she described it). She took delight in observing sex specific behavior. She would be just as delighted as I was when she would buy me whatever new cool mechanical/electronic/weird toy came out. She would often watch me play very closely, with a big smile in her face, and she would say things like “boys toys are so much cooler than girls toys.”

On the other hand, she would also later on in my life (teenage years) delight in the behavior of girlfriends I had, and she would like being all “girly” with the girls. On more than one occasion, in my 20’s she would grab a tub of ice cream, bottle of wine, and hang out with my girlfriends; she told me to buzz off because it was girl time.

My mom was a firm believer that men were men, and women were women; That men and woman were very different creatures mentally. But more than anything, she believed that this is an absolutely wonderful thing. That although men and women don’t always understand each other, and or even communicate well, a man and a woman together in love are greater than the sum of their parts. That the way they compliment each other is amazing.

As I have matured to adulthood, I began to understand her affection for “The differences in the sexes” and I now share that affection. I enjoy watching my wife and 4YO daughter get manicures and play “dress up.” It’s just so endearing to me. I enjoy brushing my daughter’s hair, and telling her how beautiful she is. I enjoy holding my wife in my arms and telling her that she is my world. My girls are girly girls, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

My message to both men and women is this:

I know it’s tough to make a relationship work.  Men and women are different in every way, so it may seem like you can never come to an understanding. Well I am here to tell you that you are missing out if you don’t try your damnedest to work it out.

Men: Do you think that she is irrational, and overly emotional? Maybe so. Well just remember that it is with that same unbridled passion that she gave her heart to you. Can you say that your love for her is so wild and free (I didn’t think so).

Women: Do you think that he is “pig-headed”, and won’t listen to a damn thing you are saying. That he is not making an effort to see your POV. Maybe true. But just remember that it is with that same steadfastness that he laid down the foundation for your home. He is your rock, your mighty oak; Immovable and reliable.

 

EMBRACE THE DIFFERENCES

Slow down, and seize the moment.

Open-ArmsSo many of us suffer the consequences of a consumer lifestyle. Even for those of us that are not living in excess (those of us who are already minimalists), so many of us still suffer a major consequence of this consumerist society in that we have the drive to be constantly “on the move.” Always in a hurry. We try so hard to fit as much as we can into a single day. We make lots and lots of plans, booking one task/event after another, after another. Often packing our schedules so tightly that we cannot enjoy any of these activities. We are so deep in thought about “what’s next on the agenda” that we are not living in the moment RIGHT NOW. Our minds are so focused on making sure that we complete all our tasks by the end of the day/week/month/whatever  that our senses are closed off to letting us experience life.

Here is a sample day:

  • While we are getting ready for the day we are thinking “I gotta hurry and make it to the gym.”
  • While we are exercising at the gym we are thinking: “I hope I can make my massage appointment.”
  • While we are getting a massage we are putting together our grocery list in our minds: “OOO, I can’t forget to get the avocados.”
  • While we are grocery shopping we are contemplating how much food to prepare when we get home.
  • While we are preparing and then eating our dinner back at home we are going over our agenda for the next day.

And the results:

  • While we were getting ready for the day we missed the beautiful sunrise out of our window.
  • Our minds were so removed from our workout that we didn’t quite give it our all.
  • We missed out on the wonderful pleasure of a good massage because once again we were removed from the moment.
  • We were so focused on what we were going to make for dinner that we forgot the avocados anyway. We also didn’t notice that our favorite beer is finally back on the market.
  • We were unable to enjoy the wonderful tacos we made because while we were eating we were stressing about tomorrows chores. Oh, and we missed the sunset.

(Does any of this sound familiar?)

SLOW DOWN people. Don’t plan so much in one day. Leave room every day to let life happen. We miss out on too much in life when we are in a hurry all the time. So much beauty, so much opportunity. When we are always focused on the narrow path by which we planned out our day we are putting blinders on to everything going on in our peripherals. And there are so many wonderful things going on around us. We need merely let ourselves be open to it.

“Life moves by pretty fast. If you don’t stop to look around every once and awhile, you could miss it.”

Ferris Bueller (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)

The car bra

bmw_E46ciJust this past week I happened to notice in the parking lot of the place I work, a car bra on a nice shiny BMW parked right in front of the building. I couldn’t help but contemplate why someone would possibly use such an accessory. I eventually came to the conclusion that this accessory is completely without actual purpose.

As I understand it, the purpose of the car bra is supposed to be purely cosmetic. It is designed to protect the front end of the car from the elements (dings, nicks, scratches) that will naturally kick up during traffic. This would have to be the purpose of it, as I believe we all would agree that the bra itself is far less visually appealing than the shiny finish underneath. So basically it acts as a shield or mask protecting the cars “good looks.” As the minimalist that I am, I would not be so consumed with cosmetics or fashion so as to purchase one of these for my car (no matter what car I happen to have). But minimalism is not for everyone, or maybe this person is passionate about BMW’s; It is not the fact that it is a cosmetic accessory that caused me to come to the conclusion that it is useless.

What did cause me to come to this conclusion, is the fact that the bra is on to keep something looking good, that we can’t see, just because the bra is on. Is not the reason we have good-looking things in the first place, so we can gaze upon them with some sort of pleasure as their image pleases our eyes. This “car bra principle” makes about as much sense as Brad Pitt wearing a mask all the time because he wants to protect his face from the elements, and keep his face nice and pretty. “Hey Brad. You don’t have a pretty face if no one (including yourself) ever sees it.” And the truth is, those who use a car bra seldom take it off, because it’s too much work to keep putting it on and off.

So why do they have one??? Vanity. Simple, useless, pointless, and ultimately self-destructive, vanity. A person with a car bra wants US to know that they have a good-looking car without actually showing it to us. They are willing to just accept the fact that their car is good-looking, without actually allowing them-self the pleasure of gazing on it. This is pompous.

I have officially labeled ” The Car Bra” as official proof humanities counterproductive ego.

The car bra is without fashion or functional purpose. I am even going to go out on a limb here and say that the owner of a car bra can’t possibly be a minimalist.