Motivation for Minimalism: Connection

Recently I was inspired to ask myself a very important question. A question I should have asked myself a long long time ago. A question that should be the basis from which everyone designs their life. The question is:

 

“What do I want to get out of life?”

 

Right off, the knee jerk reaction is to answer the question with details of the individual things I desire. This would be a mistake because I believe the question is much broader than that. It demands that we reach right down into our soul to determine what it is in life that fills us up, gives us purpose. It must be simple. It must be one sentence or less.

It took me a day or so, but I finally found the definitive answer. It is not an easy question, it requires some thought. And if one is able to answer the question immediately, it’s usually because they are answering according to their immediate desire at that time. Either that, or they have been asked the question before. The reason why I am sharing this in a post is because my answer to the question is one that I believe to be true for all individuals who see the beauty in living a minimalist life.

 

The answer is: Connection

(one word. How’s that for simple?)

 

I want to be connected to people. All people. I want to have a huge variety of many different type of connections. A romantic connection, friend connections, family connections, fan connections, community connections, and a connection with God/nature. Truth is, I have always known the answer to this question; years before I even asked it. Creating a strong positive connection is the very reason why I have this website in the first place. I have a desire to make a difference in peoples lives, and I desire letting them make a difference in mine.

Is not connection the real fruit that life has to offer? I believe that it is only through minimalism that one can free themselves to have the time, energy, and clarity to establish strong positive connections of all the types mentioned above.

Don’t we all deep down inside really just want to be connected to each other?

A Minimalists View: Human ego, the universe doesn’t care

I have heard many times from many sources, the phrase “More wars have been fought, and more people have died in the name of God than for any other reason.” Every time I heard this phrase (or one similar to it) it was meant to convey the message that religion is the cause for humanities self destructive nature. While I do believe the phrase to be true, I believe that it is because God’s name is being used in vain in the first place; because no matter what God one worships (Christian, Muslim, Jewish, etc), murder is not condoned by any of them …… for any reason. Make no mistake, God does not condone genocide for any reason. The very act of war in the name of God is blasphemy in the highest degree.

“So why do they do it? Why use Gods name to commit murder?”

To justify their actions of course. To convince the world (and them-self) that their actions are righteous. They get more support this way. It is easy to rally support if ones actions are justified by a higher authority. And there is no higher authority than God. Put simply, they use God as a scapegoat. This has been going on since the dawn of civilization.

“A scapegoat for what exactly?”

Ego, plain and simple. Since the dawn of civilization humanity has been building institutions around their egos. We have even come up with clever fictitious concepts and words built on the foundation of ego. Concepts people will die for, concepts people will kill for. Concepts like “Pride” and “Honor.” If we think long and hard about the root definition of these words, we will always come back to EGO.

 

But lets now take a moment and step away from the broad picture. Lets look at peoples struggles in everyday life. People have ego’s. All of us. This ego often causes us to build up our expectation of what our lives should be like, and how we expect our relationships to be, and so on. This expectation we interpret as our point of happiness (but we couldn’t be more wrong). In fact, with the way ego works, the moment our lives get close to meeting that expectation, suddenly the expectation becomes even higher. One can never get enough in life to satisfy that growing ego that has gnawed a hole right through the center of them. So the truth is that ego is in fact, the anti-happiness. I have determined that ego is the factor that causes the majority of couples to break up. Everyone has a certain expectation of what they want their lives to be like, but when they have to waver or compromise on that in order to find love, they always choose ego over love; and as a consequence, ego over happiness. I’ve heard people use the phrase “I’m not gonna give up ‘who I am’ for another person. They have to love me as is.” and it is usually for something as mundane as their cranky attitude in the morning (just picking one randomly here). “I told him I get cranky in the morning. If he can’t deal with that, he’s gotta go.” or “Thursday night is fantasy football night with me and the boys. She is just gonna have to deal with that.” or “I know she likes the theater. But she’s just gonna have to understand I don’t do plays.” C’mon guys really. Cut the morning bitchiness, do fantasy football another night or pick up a new hobby, and take your wife to see Les Mis you meat head. None of these things comprise “who you are” anyway, and you should be willing to change for love.

Side Note: In fact, to anyone who has ever said the phrase “I’m not gonna give up ‘who I am’ for another person. They have to love me as is.” take it from me, you are way too egotistical, and therefore not ready for marriage.

In this life, to grow and find happiness, we all need to make tremendous sacrifices. Sacrifices right down to the core of our being. This is the reason why the happiest people I’ve known are the people who are in a constant state of flux. Much of their interests and activities are completely different then they were five years ago. Ego is what prevents us from growing; prevents us from finding happiness. I am a firm believer that nature (or God) has a path for each of us, and that ego keeps us from the path. It clouds our minds.

Ego is the cause of most problems in peoples everyday lives. And so many of us are knowingly willing to sacrifice happiness to satisfy that ego. It’s why people are unwilling to be in love (pride), unwilling to accept help when they need it (pride), willing to kill in the name of democracy (honor). Well I have a message for all those who place their ego high, those who have tremendous pride, those who have honor. ……… nobody cares. Just others who share that delusional honor (and I won’t even give pride that much).

You see, in the big picture ego is irrelevant. Humanity has been in existence roughly 200,000 years. The earth has been in existence 4.5 billion years. Our species will rise and go extinct just like every other species on this planet, and the earth will hardly notice. And our individual lives (average 75 years in length) will matter even less. The Earth won’t be impacted, and the universe sure as hell won’t be impacted. Nothing we have accomplished to satisfy our ego will have mattered. With that being said, our EGO’s will have been for naught. They will only have been the thing that has kept us from being happy, nothing more. The only thing that will have mattered, is if we lived well, with love and joy in our hearts.

Minimalist Mini Vacation

Prologue:

As a father, I very rarely get the opportunity to go on any adult excursions. And for the past three years or so I have been positively dying to make it to NYC. Before my child was born I used to make it down at least four times a year, and for the past five years I have not made it down once; this is of course the price of being a father. Finally, with the construction of the Freedom Tower finished, my interest in doing a city trip doubled, and I decided to make the time. I HAVE GOT TO SEE THE TOWER UP CLOSE AND GO UP IN IT. So I decided to take a two day city trip (2 days, 1 night).

While I would have no problem making this trip alone, this trip also afforded me the opportunity to do something else I really haven’t had the time for: spending some good quality 1 on 1 time with my brother Pete. I invited, and sure enough he was interested and able. Two birds, one stone.

 

Just as I do with everything in life, I approach even small trips and excursions such as this, as a minimalist (I just can’t help it).

 

Packing:

For those of you who have been following my posts, you already know that my last vacation was nearly a week, and I carried only a 2.5’x1’x1′ duffel bag. This one is only two days … soooo all I brought was a backpack. Here are all the possessions I brought (including everything I am wearing at the time of departure):

(In order from left to right, top to bottom)

  1. toothbrush (in sleeve)
  2. toothpaste
  3. floss
  4. eye solution
  5. contact case
  6. prescription sunglasses (in case)
  7. extra contact lenses
  8. sunglasses
  9. 2 pair of jeans
  10. 3 pair of boxers
  11. rain poncho (never know)
  12. 2 sling bags (also never know)
  13. wallet (and all its content)
  14. handkerchief (1000 uses, like a towel)
  15. iPhone
  16. iPhone charger stuff
  17. headphones
  18. pocket knife
  19. 3 T-shirts
  20. 2 pair of socks
  21. belt
  22. toiletry bag
  23. backpack (to carry all these supplies)
  24. good pair of walking sneakers (a must for the city)
  25. flannel shirt (in case it gets cold)

Everything I was not wearing at the time fit easily in the backpack.

 

Commuting to the city:

As you know I live in the Hudson Valley in upstate NY. So simply driving to the city is not out of the question. It’s only a two hour drive. This might at first seem like the cheapest approach, but that would be dead wrong. Why? Because at the very least, it will cost $40 a day (that is generous) to park the car once it gets there. Oh, and the chances of you finding a vacancy in a convenient lot ……. not gonna happen. There is also gas ($20). There is also the mental energy cost of the anguish I would have to endure driving in the city.

So instead I chose to take the Metro North rail road train down to the city …….. $37 round trip (off peak). It is also quicker than driving as it is exactly two hours, and I am saved the time it takes to find parking.

 

Lodging:

When one goes on vacation, the only reason they even have need for a hotel room is for the purpose of sleeping and prepping. The place need merely be safe, clean, comfortable, and have a fully functional bathroom. THAT’S IT. If one is doing this right, they won’t be spending much time there. Vacations happen outside the hotel, right?. In the past I have always been perfectly comfortable with economy lodgings (Days Inn, Econolodge, etc). It’s no different in this case, however we are talking about Manhattan here. And even the “economy” hotels here charge an arm and a leg per night for middle class folk such as myself.

Well it just so happens that I stumbled upon a hotel ideally suited for minimalists. It is called a POD Hotel. There are in fact two of them in the center of Manhattan; the POD 51 and POD 39 (51st st and 39th st). What these are, are rooms smaller than half the size of a normal hotel room at a significantly lower price. Pete and I stayed in a room no wider than my arm span (not considering the bathroom) and maybe five~seven  yards deep for only $135 a night (after tax).

The pics above depict the entire room, a set of bunk beds, small desk, a safe, a coat rail, ……. and that’s it. Well, there is the separate tiny bathroom that is very minimal itself. That last pic is my brother Pete being a goof.

Like I said, we got this at $135 a night, or $120 before tax. It is however possible to get a room as low as $90, but having ones own bathroom is not guaranteed (some rooms have shared bathrooms).

Link: POD Hotels

For those of us minimalists who don’t even require all that, hosteling is always an option. There are plenty of hostels all over the city with rates as low as $40 a night. Sometimes all ya need is a bed.

Link: Hostels

 

City Transportation and Navigation:

Put simply, the most efficient means of transportation in Manhattan is Subway if traveling north/south, or by foot if east/west. The island of Manhattan is 2.3 miles wide at it’s widest point, so walking east/west should not be a problem for most people and situations. The island is however 13.4 miles long, so that can be a bit of a problem by foot. Presently it is $2.75 to gain one admission into the subway. The distance one needs to travel is irrelevant to the cost. Simply entering a taxi comes with a $3.00  charge before distance is even considered (which it is). So taxis are drastically less cost efficient.

 

One new means of transportation in the city that I have not yet had the opportunity to take advantage of is the city-bikes; bicycles for rent at any city-bike stop location, which are all over the city. As a cyclist I am particularly interested and fascinated by these, as I love to bike in the city but don’t want to risk one of my own bicycles. Well ….. maybe next time.

 

 

Events (“Finally he gets to the fun part of the vacation”):

I was only staying for two days so I just came up with only a handful of activities I planned on doing when I was down there (Which included the Freedom Tower tour of course). I prefer not to jam pack my time filling up every minute with pre-planned events. First, all this does is set one up for disappointment when they miss something (and they almost always do). Second, they will enjoy everything a lot less with one eye on the clock all the time. Third (and most important), It closes ones mind and vision off to other possibilities and sights that present themselves while the excursion is taking place. I.E. You’re not going to notice all the peripheral beauty around you if you always have one eye on the clock.

The first day there was the most unpredictable with regard to just about everything (arrival time, city navigation, etc), so I only planned one event. TIMES SQUARE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Times Square, ah yes, the pinnacle of marketing and consumerism. Not usually a popular spot for a minimalist, but I just so happen to get a kick out of watching the lights and bustle, live and in motion. While I do not take part, I do enjoy watching the excess consumerism at work. The street shows are great too. After some sight seeing, we met up with an old friend and went to the Bourbon Street restaurant just off of Times Square. Jambalaya!

That was the entire first day. Simple, easy. I dare not shop in TS because the prices are super inflated. Even the food is. This was not the spending part of the vacation.

 

The second day on the other hand was less prone to delays beyond my control, so I packed more events in. I also spent the day in downtown where the culture is much richer, and merchandise and food are much more affordable and authentic.

The day started with a cruise through Chinatown. I had never been there before, so this was a real treat. We checked out everything. I really like to immerse myself in the culture. I was fascinated by the food stands with exotic ….. things (not sure if some of it was roots, fruits, or veggies). We saw dried sea life carcasses. The avenue reeked of fish. Apparently sea cucumbers are either rare, or hard to get because they are $48/lb.  We went to a fish market that had all the fish still alive in tanks. Fish doesn’t get fresher than them killing it right in front of you before they wrap it up and hand it to you. I’m used to the grocery store, where you see the fish already dead on ice.

I did end up making a couple purchases from one of the stores. A pair of high quality chopsticks and two pair of trainer sticks for my daughter to practice with.

After we had our fill of the Chinatown sights, we stopped at the Nom Wah Tea Parlor for some Dim Sum. I had a pork and onion stuffed bun and pork dumpling soup. Delicious, and under $10. The tea I had was another $4 though. Still, cheap.

 

Next was the big event of the trip. The Freedom Tower tour. I believe the tour took us 102 floors up. The tour was $37, and included a just a brief lesson on World Trade Center history, and tower construction. All good stuff, but I was in it for the 360 degree visibility on the top observation floor. On which we could see as far as four boroughs and New Jersey.

These pics above are just a few of the sites we took in. There is nothing like viewing humanities abundance from above/afar, all in one big cluster. It was breathtaking.

 

Pete and I closed out our trip with some authentic German brew at a place in midtown called Zum Schneider. A Restaurant and Beer Garden. Pete and I shared a 12 beer tasting rack (about 2 oz of each beer). I indulged in a cheese and deli meet spread for my meal.

 

And there it is. An excellent city trip minimalist style. I spent no more than $300 altogether. I wasn’t even trying to keep a low budget. If one just makes it a habit doing minimalist practices, one can still have just as good a time without going home broke.