Keeping Your Circle Small

There are only 24 hours in a day, and 7~8 of them are spent sleeping, 8+ of them are spent working, and the remainder have to be spent divided between eating, maintenance, growth, recreation, and socialization (not necessarily mutually exclusive). This layout is a bit different from lifestyle to lifestyle granted, but the point remains the same. That being, we don’t have a great amount of time left over for things like recreation and socialization.

Even if we have chosen minimal lifestyles where the upkeep/maintenance is low,  and we eat only to live (instead of the other way around), and our passions (our growth) have a very prominent social component to them (like most do), It’s still leaves little time to build strong relationships. This is just a natural part of life. Part of becoming an adult.

It is the reason why as we become adults we have fewer and fewer friends. It is the reason why when we become parents we retain even fewer friends still. A parents “Growth” and “Socialization” time gets almost fully devoted to their children. It’s the reason why we begin to combine these different needs together to save time, or just omit some altogether. Eating time becomes entertainment/recreation (the beginning of health problems), maintenance is skipped altogether (again health problems), and taking on any personal projects for growth is often tossed aside.

With all this going on, it is impossible to maintain a large social circle; impossible to keep in contact with a large group of friends and family. These relationships can’t be maintained and grow. I have only one thing to say about that:

 

It’s OK

 

really

 

If we have too much in our lives that we can’t devote time and energy to some people that we are close to, don’t sweat it. THAT’S LIFE. Many relationships will come and go. And if those relationships were strong in the first place, they may be strong enough to pick back up in another phase in life. Trying to devote what little time we have to a large circle of friends means not devoting enough time to any one of them to have any growth with any of them. This is just wasted time. What would we rather have, 15 acquaintances, or 5 close friends?

The only thing I DO suggest, is that we keep and maintain a very small circle. About 3, 4, or 5 close friends/family that we connect with regularly. This way we can devote enough time to each of them to have some level of growth in those relationships. It is important to our own mental stability that we do this. Likelihood is that once we have “weeded” all of the toxic people and those we are not compatible with, we will be down to 3 or 4 friends anyway. These relationships are necessary toward our growth; they keep us stable, focused. They also provide an outlet for our angst and doubt.

“Personal Bubble” Theory

At some point in mankind’s history it was decided that the acquisition of wealth would be a driving factor in our lives. Over time, slowly but surely, this became THE driving factor in many of our lives as influenced by the very principal of capitalism. This doesn’t bother me so much. If climbing the corporate ladder is what makes one passionate, then go for it. Seems like a pretty empty existence to me, but to each their own.

What does bother me is the fact that they do this by standing on the shoulders of the middle class (us) by influencing us to keep, grow, stay in, and maintain our “personal bubble.” That is, they influence us to consume. To continue to constantly acquire material goods. To even expand the space in which we live so that way we can continue to grow our hoard. To influence a sense of “pride of ownership” so we intentionally keep others away from our hoard, our space, our bubble.  They have us believing that expanding our personal bubble is what makes us successful, that this is what happiness is.

Not only is this NOT happiness, it is detracting us away from the riches life has to offer. By focusing on our property, our bubble, we are losing our sense of community; we are not establishing and maintaining strong connections with our neighbors. We are disconnected from actual people. As a result there is mass discontent in the world as the many small factions of people don’t understand each other. And how could they, as they were all too busy focusing on expanding their personal bubbles. Real connections were never made so real communication was never had; we know only what the media has influenced us to believe.

This is exactly what the upper class want. Because not only do the rich depend on our continuous consumption of things we don’t need for their profit, but they also depend on us not communicating with each other. Because if we DID communicate with each other, we would establish working relationships with each other, then we would learn that we do not need them.

 

 

I imagine a world of perfect communication with all people. This would lead to perfect kindness and care. Everyone is each others keeper. The idea of “private property” doesn’t exist. All resources are shared. We work only to do our part in contributing to our community, and to better ourselves. Don’t need a lock on the front door. Everyone is welcome everywhere. Since there is no such thing as personal property, “theft” has no meaning. If someone goes into my home and takes a 55″ TV, they are welcome to it; obviously they need it more than I do. Imagine this world I speak of. With shared resources there would be no rich fat cats making money off us. In fact, there would be no separation of the classes to even get to the existence of rich “fat cats.”

Extend kindness this Holiday Season

I think …… we should take a different approach toward this Holiday season this time around (and going forward for that matter).

Usually, we spend the season all in a crazy rush. We are shopping, planning, shopping, planning, planning, shopping, cooking, planning, meeting, shopping, shopping. Then by the time we get to the holiday we are exhausted. We don’t even want to eat the food we prepared. We do anyway, we eat too much, get tired again, take a nap, then BOOM, holiday over. Barely had time to connect with our friends and family. Is this really what we want? I don’t think so.

Instead, lets take it a little easier this year. No running around. Much less consuming. In fact, little to no shopping at all (yeah I said it). Give loved ones our time. Have some real communication, less planning.

Furthermore, lets devote some time to extend kindness to our fellow man. Whether it is by doing volunteer work for the poor, or just here and there during our everyday activities. Take the time to give time, help, or just some kind words to people. To ALL people. To the people around us, and to the people who need kindness so desperately.

Is this not what the holidays are really all about anyway?

We are all different people, with different belief systems. Varying values with regard to politics. Varying social classes. Varying lifestyles. I am understanding and respectful of all of these, but I believe we ALL can get behind, and practice acceptance and kindness.

Can’t we all just practice kindness?